Thursday, June 11, 2009

Orlando runs out of Magic

The resilient Orlando Magic bounced back in their must win game 3 as they have all playoffs long. They held home court with the greatest shooting display in NBA Finals history, a blistering .625% on 40-64 from the field with only five of those being this squads bread and butter - 3 pointers, of which they attempted 14. A very uncharacteristic stat for a team that jacks up treys like rabbits breed. The home team had five players score 18 points or more, yet was outscored in the painted area by L.A. by four 40-36. Pau Gasol was an efficient 9-11 from the field, just imagine what might have happened if the Lakers actually made a concerted effort to get him the rock close to the rim. I am as adamant a Kobe fan as anyone, but when you have a post player with a proven track record like the gangly Spaniard, you would think a coach as astute as Phil Jackson would deliberately run more plays for him…I would.

The Lakers are a resilient bunch as well, following every loss this post season with a win. Should they find a way to pull that off here in game four the Magic trick of the greatest shooting show on earth that we witnessed on Tuesday will mean little. Phil can usurp Red, Kobe can gain continue his quest to be like Mike and the Los Angeles Lakers will shed the 800 pound gorilla that has haunted their playoff fortunes since before the OTHER 800 pound gorilla demanded a one way ticket to Miami.

Should the Lakers lose in these Finals, we’ll never hear the end of “Kobe can’t win without Shaq”
Whatever, on with the game…

The first half of this hotly contested game 4 belonged to Dwight Howard’s defensive prowess and ability to leap over Laker big men in a single bound and a dash of help from the zebras. The swamp was bubbling, the crowd loud and loving it, the Lakers on the receiving end of a 49-37 twelve point deficit. I know Orlando’s All Star point guard Jameer Nelson was reactivated for the Finals from what was deemed season ending shoulder surgery and is hungry to prove he’s good to go but why is he incessantly chewing his mouth guard. If my Mother saw me chewing my gum like that she’d crack me in the yap quicker that those pesky wabbits I mentioned earlier get busy.

The third quarter saw Mr. Mamba get some of the help he so desperately needs when Trevor Ariza recalled that the team he’s facing, the Orlando Magic was the very same team that had the audacity to trade him for an Evans and a Cook…it was his duty as a purple and gold soldier to make them realize it was a huge mistake to insult him in such a manner. He got his revenge by disrupting plays on defense and raining threes to the tune of 16 second half points and the Lakers snatched the lead back before the end of the third quarter.

The final quarter of regulation saw a spirited burst by both teams…one fighting for their playoff lives and home court pride the other fighting to steal one in the swamp and crush the others ring dreams. The Black Mamba had no problem getting Rikki Tiki Tavi with his Olympic teammate Howard when he took exception to Dwight wrapping him up. The two exchanged some pleasantries while trotting back down to the other end after Superman was assessed a foul on the play. Several tense moments and dramatic Kobe shots later, the see-food flasher Jameer Nelson forgot that mercury heavy food can kill you and let a Fish gut him at the end of regulation. Mr. 0.4, Mr. Warrior, The Little ROCK from Little Rock, Mr. Big Shot Droppin Derek FISHAAA made him pay for not getting a hand up and buried clutch a three with moments left regulation to force overtime.

Kobe can‘t do it alone, everyone needs a sidekick –
“I ain’t gonna shoot you Frank…Manolo, choot that piece of chit”

The five minute overtime was only exciting if you’re a Laker fan. It was four and a half minutes of grind it out playoff basketball, a Bryant elbow to 4 foot whatever Jameer Half-Nelson’s jawbone that dropped him like Quittick Bowe and once again there was Fisher doing his best Robert Horry impersonation by swishing his second back breaking three pointer from the top of the key to break a 91-91 tie. Poor Rashard Lewis will now end up on posters a la Chris Webber, hand extended to contest but everyone knowing it’s in vain. A Hedo Turkoglu clang off the rim and Pau Gasol finds himself alone for a breakaway slam dunk and a five point lead with 21.6 remaining. Another Hedon’t Tukeyloo brick finds Pau cherry picking and slamming it home again when the flying Frenchman Mickael Pietrus, who had been gaining my respect with his play in this series shows, some of that French military might and take a two fisted cheap shot into the lanky Gasol’s spine. The Spaniard got into Pepe Le Pew’s grill to let him know that the Tour De France leader always wears a yellow jersey and if Mickeal Mouse wanted to dance, he was ready to go Michael Jackson on his croissant and spit in his cafĂ© latte for him.

No need though.

The 3-1 series lead makes another loss inevitable for yet another Frenchman.

On the next episode of the Magic’s Greatest Secrets Revealed…Even blind zebras can’t stop a Clydesdale‘s championship run, Purple Reign clouds have hovered over Los Angeles for the last week for a reason, Orlando’s Superman has fallen victim to Kob-tonite and the evil Lamar Luthor and the real truth is…

The rich get richer, schedule the parade, order the 15th banner, size the rings, close tha shop maing.

I tried to tell you…But no ju wouldn’t listen…Well, you stupid f**k. Look at you now.

They called me a homer,
Thet called me a loon,

But they can’t say I wavered on



  1. Rob aka Bleed .......

    Well the Magic seem to find neverending ways manageable to keep on shooting themselves in the foot repeatedly. And let's not mention the turnovers . OK so I mentioned the TO's ... what the hell ! Howard and Turkoglu accounted for 8 of their 17 and and 11 of their 15 missed free throws. Need one say anymore ?

    Here's my own take on last night's undue recipe for disaster. Click on the text to view.

    Who Says Defense Doesn't Win Championships ..? Well Converting Free Throws Also Helps As Well ..........

    As and when you're ready I'll look forward to reading your comments.

    tophatal ............

  2. Rob aka Bleed'

    This piece deals with the impending situation concerning the Heat and Dwyane Wade and whether or not he'll re-sign with the team. Bearing in mind also that Jermaine O'Neal'll be earning $23m in 2010 as well.

    Hopes The Future And All Of The Nonsense That Comes With It All ......

    tophatal ....................

  3. She needs some SUN! lol